Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

Mike De Luca doesn’t think blow job jokes are funny, and other truisms

After two days on the screamfest, and three on a commercial ( I don’t want to type about it.. my ex, Satan, was one of the honchos – he kept trying to get me fired, but my boss held his ground), I’ve been back on “Zathura” for the past two days.

Wow.. what a comparatively nice show.. the chaos is still there, and the brass are getting tense because it’s down to the wire and they’re worried about finishing on time without blowing the budget, but there’s a conspicuous absence of screaming and yelling, which is refreshing.

I was ‘off production’, which means I was on one of the crews that were going behind first unit and cleaning up the sets that are wrapped.. When we went out to lunch, the waitress asked me how we all got so dirty and bedraggled looking – I told her we had been trapped in an alien spaceship all morning, and man were those guys pigs..

I forget that not everyone thinks I’m funny.

While we were at crafty (located directly under a set which may or may not tip over – construction aren’t sure) getting coffee, one of the guys was asking who Mike De Luca was (he’s one of the producers of this movie), we all started giving him the back story, including the whole blow job tale.. as we launched into the wisecracks, one of the production people came up and said “Mr. De Luca doesn’t appreciate that “, and told us that we should change the subject immediately or dire things would happen to us.
Wow. A threat. I spent the rest of the morning humming the theme to “The Godfather”.

Okay….

#1. “Mr. De Luca”? When the fuck did that happen? I remember when that guy was…. oh, never mind.. the minions are watching everything, you know!

#2. Never, ever, ever, say anything interesting when anyone from Production can hear you. Bad me.

One of the set electricians blew something up (I didn’t see it, but there was a loud bang, shouts followed by a big cloud of smoke), and someone dubbed the poor guy “Kablooey”. It caught on, and I think it’s probably going to follow him for a show or two.

Rest of the day went smoothly, except that I fucked up and stood on the wrong part of a greenbed, and the Sony safety lady saw it and came down on me like a ton of bricks.

Filed under: Work

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