Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

My First Angry Letter to the Editor

Well, it’s not an angry letter, but it’s a letter..

“Us Weekly” Magazine reported that the crew of Mr. and Mrs. Smith were replaced due to their gossiping about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

What a crock. Most of the time, we’re either working our asses off, or trying to set stuff up for the next shot so we don’t get said asses kicked by not being prepared.

There’s always commentary on the walkie talkies, but on “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”, the only snarky comments that I heard on the walkie were aimed at the director.

Anyhow – here’s my first letter to an editor. We’ll see if it gets published and in what form:

In your April 11 issue, you reported that the crew of the upcoming movie “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” were replaced for reshoots due to their ‘gossip and speculation’ about actors Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

This is untrue. The reason there was a new crew during each successive round of ‘additional shooting’ (this current round wrapped Thursday, March 24), is that like all crews, they had moved on to other projects during the film’s multiple hiatuses, and were not available when shooting started again – hence the need for a new crew.

Contrary to popular belief, film crews generally
don’t care about the antics of celebrities.
We are usually too busy trying to get through the day’s work to worry about who’s doing what to whom in the trailers between shots.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Ladies who Lunch!

Last minute lunch with The Blonde and The Drama Queen at The Ivy – They called me, said they’d gotten a table, and did I want to come and have lunch.

For those of you not familiar, The Ivy is a celeb infested, over priced ‘eatery’ in West Hollywood.. there are perpetually photogs planted outside, and the food’s okay – given my druthers, I’d go across the way to Chaya – still overpriced, but much more interesting food.

There wasn’t really anyone good there except – Mr. Movie Star.

I couldn’t believe I saw him there, and The Drama Queen couldn’t believe it when, after a few minutes of him staring at me like he couldn’t figure out who I was, he came over and said hello.

He’s still short, and still very, very charming.

He got my number again as he said he’d ‘lost his phone’.

I managed to not giggle quite so much this time.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Some light reading for your perusal

There’s a fake Michael Bay blog here on blogger (Those of you who’ve read my entire blog will know my thoughts on M.B.).

It’s hilarious, and whoever’s writing it is a fucking genius.

Go check it out!

Downloaded the truck for Mr. and Mrs Smith today. It’s finally over!

Since I got off work early, I met my friend Rebecca for lunch. Rebecca is a costumer for just about everyone (she’s making costumes for KISS and the Pussycat Dolls right now). She’s going to make me a purse when she’s got some time – I gave her a really rank Louis V. handbag that I bought at a thrift store (one of those cylindrical ones with the spikes), and she’s going to take it apart and make me a knock off out of something cool (I’m thinking of turquoise and green patent leather. I like the idea of having something that no one else has).

I’m so glad I got to see her – she’s one of my favorite people in the world.

There’s about two weeks left in pilot season, so I’m taking tomorrow off to try to get my taxes done, and then I’m back to scrambling for work before it goes dead again.

I still can’t figure out this fucking picture program, so I’ll just post photos on MySpace.
Here’s the URL for my profile:

Filed under: Uncategorized

Yay for Double Time!

We got a nice wrap day today..

Good Friday being a union holiday, we got 8 hours at double time! Yay!

We had a nice, easy day as well. All we did was get our equipment onto our truck (as opposed to the ‘drop loads’ and the rigging package which is HUGE), which took about six hours of easy work, and since there was no production there (no production = no panic), we could do things like speculate about how much money we could get on eBay for a door handle that Brad broke during a take – I think not much, as there’s no way to prove that it’s an actual item from the movie. The boys disagree.

It’s a moot point, as none of us care enough to actually go to the trouble to try to sell the thing.

We got done early, and I went to the gym that’s across the street from the Ikea and swam for an hour, and then I went to Fry’s (how is it that whenever I’m not going to be able to get there, Fry’s will have a phenomenal deal on something I’ve been wanting for ages.. but on the one Friday when I get off early and have to pass right by on my way home, they have nothing good.. why?) for a bit, and then went home – while it’s still light.

Oh, the joy!

Filed under: Work

Rule #1 – Don’t get killed

The official last night of shooting on “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”.. This is just stunts, there are no actors (they were ‘picture wrapped’ last night).

The night started off badly – we had a 5 pm call, which meant that we all got stuck in the horrible traffic on the way out to the Ikea in Puente Hills (our location, on and off, for the past few months. It will thankfully be torn down as soon as we’re done with it).

The “best boy” (sort of the second in command) set the tone by -right at call time – announcing over the walkie talkie “Rule number one is this: Don’t get killed by the helicopter”. This set off the inevitable wave of John Landis/Twilight Zone jokes, but everyone was very, very nervous.

The first fuck up was that one of the ‘condors’ (these are lift platforms that go about 80 feet up in the air – there’s a light in the basket and a guy up there with it to make any changes – it simulates moonlight) was in the flight path of the helicopter which, during the shot, will be swooping down, chasing our stunt doubles who are running for cover into the building.

To move the condor required that locations secure permission to move it into the parking lot of a business about 100 yards down the road from where it was initially set up – not an easy thing to do at 6:30 pm in a largely industrial area. When they finally got ahold of the guy who owned the building, he said “NO”. Finally, they got permission to use another lot and got the condor, all it’s cable and the generator that was powering it moved.

To move the generator, transportation sent a ‘stake-bed’, with some of our lights in it, over to the condor (which was about a quarter mile away from the Ikea). Needless to say, while the truck was over there dealing with trying to hitch up the generator, our boss decided that he just had to use one of the lights that was in the stakebed. They had to unhook the generator, put the condor move on hold, and send the truck back over to us so we could offload one light – we then sent the truck back over to finish the move.

The second fuck up involved one of the other condors (we had a total of six- only four of which were ever in the air at the same time) that was placed in the parking lot of the Best Buy next door. Each condor weighs about 16,000 lbs, and they have big tractor tires on them. The asphalt in the Best Buy parking lot started to crack under the weight of the condor – while the basket (with big light and guy) was in the air. Once that was down, and moved (to a spot that the D.P. didn’t like as much, but had firmer asphalt), we started to shoot – until the main generator went down.

The entire production staff was getting very, very tense, as all the shots were outside at night – which means that they can only shoot until the sun comes up, and then they have to stop. Since the director is the slowest fucking person on the planet, this delay sent production into a tizzy.

As many bad things as I’ve said, typed and thought about this particular director, he did put the petal to the metal and make up for lost time. We ended up getting our last shot just as the sun came up.

After we did our hour or so of work to get everything ready, of course we got stuck in traffic. I slept in the back of my truck for two hours and then went home, where I passed out until I got the call to come in on Friday (Good Friday – it’s a holiday so it means double time) and wrap the truck.


Call time: 5 pm.

Wrap time 6:15 am

We were out at 7:15 am

Filed under: Work

Machine Guns are Loud

I’ve never been afraid on a set before.

Tonight we shot the big gun battle between Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the commandos who are trying to kill them. ALL of the actors had machine guns, the store shelves were ‘squibbed’ (small explosive charges to make it look like a bullet’s hit something) and the noise was deafening. Even from 30 feet away, I could feel the shockwaves coming off the guns as they were fired. I had ear plugs AND noise canceling headphones on, and the noise was still rattling my teeth.

I cannot imagine what it’s like to be in combat, where those things aren’t loaded with blanks, and in addition to the cacophony you have the chance of actually being killed. Fuck.

The one funny thing was that when the squibs were going off during the action sequence, there were little geysers of pork rinds and flavored popcorn flying into the air as the squibs set them off. It looked like a cartoon, and I was laughing so hard that I forgot to be afraid!

This director is amazingly slow. All night, he would do multiple takes of these HUGE shots that took hours to set up. Someone pointed out that we started shooting Mr. and Mrs. Smith last year, and then we had to stop because Brad had to go shoot Oceans 12. That movie was shot, came out in the theaters and has gone to DVD, and we’re still shooting this movie.

I think they should call it “Mr. and Mrs. Smith go to Heaven’s Gate”.

Call time: 10 am

Wrap time: 3:30 am

Filed under: Work

It’s going to be a long, long day.

I’m on my way into the never ending movie, “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”.

Originally, our call time for today was 7:30 am, at an old Ikea about an hour east of Los Angeles.

My boss called me at 8 pm last night to tell me that the call time had been changed to 10 am, because ‘Brad Pitt doesn’t want to get up that early”.

Wow.. I wish I could do that.

For some reason, I can never sleep late.. So, even with my 10 am call (9:30 for breakfast), I’m still up at quarter to seven.

It’s going to be a long, long day.

Filed under: Work


Still sick.

Still working.

The best boy razzed me all day about being sick at work, which apparently I’ve complained about to him before.

Someone kept stealing equipment out of our pile before we had a chance to count it, so the warehouse guys would have to go and get more stuff. .there are four shows loading at the same time, so who knows who it was.

Had a good time because the gaffer was there, and he’s a ton of fun.

Not all the equipment got there on time, so we had to sit and wait – in the rain, as this rental house doesn’t have indoor docks – for the rest of our stuff to get there.

Filed under: Work

Dammit, I hate it when I’m a hypocrite.

I always get pissed when folks go into work when they’re sick, so I guess that makes me a big fucking hypocrite..

I’m still sick as a dog, but I got called to do two days loading a truck, which isn’t heavy work, so I dosed up with cold medicine and went in.

What’s shooting is pickups for a movie called “Goal” which shot mostly in England, and there’s 10 days of stuff here.

This crew are the same folks who did “Memento” and “The Italian Job”. I love these guys. They’re maniacs, and I always have fun when I’m working for them. Unless I’m sick.

Then nothing is too much fun.

Filed under: Work

Very, Very Sick.

I have the flu from hell.

I feel like crap and I’m drinking this absolutely vile hippy shit given to me by The Sweater Queen (she has long flowing hair, long flowing sweaters, and dispenses all manner of curative hippy glop and goo) in the hopes of not getting knocked on my ass for two weeks.

At least I’m not working. I’d be pissed if I were missing work.

Dragged my sorry ass to the video store and rented a stack of DVDs since I’m anticipating being on the couch for a few days.

Speaking of the couch, it’s calling my name, and my eyeballs feel kinda fuzzy.

Filed under: Uncategorized

March 2005

Flickr Photos



Random Quote

"If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." -Anne Lamott

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,177 other subscribers


Not blogs, but cool

%d bloggers like this: