Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

The Post that Crashed my Blog!

I haven’t seen the new Star Wars yet – actually, I won’t see it as I refuse to give that crazy midget Lucas any more money – and I’m hearing it’s terrible. Mr. Movie Star (who’s back in town) says that it’s not nearly as bad as the first two, but that’s not saying much, now is it?

This landed in my email in box a while back, so I’m sure everyone’s already seen it, but it still makes me laugh.

No one, and I mean no one, can write dialogue like Quentin T.

The TOP 10 Things We Want To Hear Samuel L. Jackson, “JediMaster
Mace Windu,” say in the Star Wars Prequel

10. You don’t need to see my goddamn identification, ’cause these ain’t the
motherfuckin’ droids you’re looking for.

9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’ll never know, ’cause I wouldn’t
eat the filthy motherfucker.

8. This is your father’s lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively, have to
kill every motherfuckin’ stormtrooper in the room… accept no substitutes.

7. If Obi-wan ain’t home then I don’t know what the fuck we’re gonna do. I
ain’t got no other connections on Tattooine.

6. Feel the Force, motherfucker.

5. ‘What’ ain’t no planet I’ve ever heard of! Do they speak Bocce on ‘What’?

4. You sendin’ the Fett? Shit, Hutt, that’s all you had to say!

3. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that the motherfucker’s a carpet. Yeah
Chewie got a hair problem. What’s the brother gonna do? He’s a wookie.

2. Does Jabba the Hutt look like a bitch?

1. Hand me my lightsaber… it’s the one that says, “Bad Motherfucker” on it.

Number 6 is still my favorite.

My blog crashed last night. It totally disappeared from the internet (I got a ton of “What happened to your blog” mails – why don’t any of you people sleep?), and I sent Blogger a couple of frantic, panicky emails..

By 7 this morning they had the problem fixed, and I’m back. I know a lot of folks don’t like Blogger (it’s the AOL of the blogging world), but they put the hustle on trying to get my problem fixed.

Yay to Blogger!

Just in case it ever happens again, though..

The blog is mirrored here.

Filed under: Non-Work

5 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    Okay, I’m leaving an anonymous comment.

    Let’s see if it works.

  2. Derek says:

    I like # 8 Personally and I also like your blog pretty interesting stuff

  3. EcamirG says:

    tarantino writes fun dialogue, and all, but let’s at least acknowledge that he’s no david mamet.

  4. 2Vamp says:

    mr movie star is right – out of the 3, E3 is the least crappy. yup – that IS saying a lot.

    and yes, my fav is #6 too.

  5. Corine says:

    These are fuckin’ HILARIOUS!!!

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