Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

I love my chiropractor.

Actually, he’s my former chiropractor – he closed his human practice and started working on show horses (the pay’s better and the horses don’t talk back). He’s exceptionally talented (he’s the sole reason why I haven’t had to have knee surgery), and since he stopped seeing patients I’ve not been able to find another chiropractor that seems to know his (or her) ass from a hole in the ground.

This morning, I dragged my pain-killer hung-over self out of bed and went back to the doctor’s office to have him pop the wrist back in – only to have it pop (audibly) back out less than an hour later as I was making a left turn.

After probably traumatizing the pre-schoolers in the next car by screaming “Fuck fuck fuck fuck!”, I called the chiropractor and started to beg.

He finally agreed to see me at 5 pm, so I had to run around all day (film festival deadline snuck up on me) with only one fully-functioning arm. Thank god the P.O.S. has an automatic transmission.

When I got to his house, he took one look at my wrist, rolled his eyes, sighed, and said “It’s not your wrist, it’s your elbow.”

Me: “But I heard the wrist pop.”

Chiropractor: “I’m sure you did – the wrist bone’s not in the right place, but the real problem is with the elbow. Shit rolls downhill, you know.”

Me (confused): “Okay.”

Anyways – it’s not totally back in yet (he says it’ll take a few days to move itself back, and it’s still sore, so I’m keeping this post short), but it feels about a thousand percent better. I’ve got an ice pack on it, and he told me to take Advil for the next few days to keep the inflammation down.

It hasn’t popped back out yet, although I was extra-careful on the drive home.

Filed under: Non-Work

6 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    I’m so glad your chiro found the real problem. Yeah – you should be back to your usual self, and humor, in no time! Feel better soon.

  2. I had to visit the chiropractor after we ran nearly a 1/2 mile of cable for Die Hard with a Vengeance.

    My knees were giving me problems and my lower back was really tight from running all that 2/0 cable. The chiro took a look at me ands said that it wasn’t my knees – it was my hips. One of my legs was about two inches longer than the other. He positioned me on the table and a quick twist and “pop” later my entire body felt incredible.

    Juicers love their chiropractors – for good reason.

  3. Grubber says:

    “Shit rolls downhill, you know.”
    That’s the type of doctor I want to find!

  4. hmmmm….

    Maybe I should see a chiropractor.

    My back is constantly hurting.

    (I can recommend codeine for the pain… 60mg and you’ll be chilled after 90 minutes.)

    Doom

  5. Norman says:

    Can I just say…

    “Eeee-yewwwwwww.”

  6. For years following too many car accidents, my neck was complete crap… not constant pain, but near constant. Never really saw anybody about it.

    However… just last summer, while flirting with a gay friend of mine, the topic came up of my crappy neck. He had me lie on his floor as he explained about how he’d studied Yoga in India for many years, and was the general fix-it guy for the students there. Diagnosed the problem and snapped it right back into place.

    My neck isn’t perfect, but it’s miles better than it was. Flirtation pays off, I guess.

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