I forgot it was Halloween tonight, and didn’t get any candy on the way home from work.
Of course, I got ambushed as I tried to get from the car to the front door (I almost made it, too).
“Trick or Treeeeet!” yelled a fairy princess (I think she was a fairy princess – she could have also been Prom Night Barbie with a plastic scepter or a slutty party-going socialite with a misshapen golf club). “Give me something good to eat!”
I rummaged through my paper bag of take-out sushi (some nights I’m too tired even to open a can), trying to stall for time.
“Um.. let me see here… what do I have… You can have a salmon roll or… Miso soup! Yum!”
Dammit, why don’t they give you fortune cookies in Japanese restaurants? I could have made a run for it while she was distracted.
“MOMMY! She’s trying to give me food that’s not in plastic! And sounds yucky!”
Mommy said “Leave the nice lady alone, honey”, but still glared at me as she hustled the kids past, and kept shooting me dirty looks until I slunk into the house.
So I guess now I’m the weirdo that tried to give a kid sushi on Halloween.
I should have offered her my wire-strippers. Or a cube tap.