Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

When is a joke not really a joke?

While watching a Simpsons DVD today (I should have been re-doing the grout in the tub, but I just had to see the episode where the movie shoots in Springfield), I saw something that was intended as a joke, but in fact really exists:

There is actually such a thing as a movie screw.

No, it’s not when you sign your deal memo* – it’s a 3/4 inch drywall screw.

Go ahead – try to find one at Home Depot. Screw that (pun intended) – try to find one online. Try to find one anywhere.

Although they’re the standard screw in the film industry (well, one of them at least) – just about everything is built with them as they’re the perfect size for just about anything – the only way that I know of to get a box of 3/4 inch drywall screws is to ask the grips to order one for you.

They have some secret source for the damned things.

A significant percentage of the stuff in my house is held together with salvaged 3/4 inch drywall screws: bookcases, the couch (don’t ask), the desk, the spice rack.

Want to figure out which one I am on set?

I’m the one harvesting the discarded movie screws from the stage floor.

* A deal memo is what we sign when we start a job. It spells out the terms of the contract (no double time until after 14 hours, crappy rate/good rate, whether or not we get ‘kit rental’ – which is pay for use of our personal gear), and you have to sign it or you don’t get paid.

Filed under: Work

February 2006
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"If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." -Anne Lamott

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