Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

Fuck him? I don’t even know him!

When I got home this afternoon, I opened the mail and saw the strangest thing.

An invite to Joe Francis’ birthday party at Magic Mountain (“come party with us.. drinks, food and all rides will be open”).

Who is Joe Francis? I had no fucking idea, but a free night at an amusement park is fine by me.
When I called the RSVP line, I got the following message: “The RSVP line is now closed. Don’t bother leaving a message, it will not be checked.”

So, either I got my invitation really late, or the RSVP line was never open and they just sent out invitations to generate publicity or waste money or something.

When I told The Blonde about it, she said, “Well, fuck him and the horse he… oh, wait. I’m going to that party. Never mind.”

Then, after I’d turned on the computer, I saw the same invite on Defamer and learned why Joe Francis can afford to throw a party at Magic Mountain.

Yeek. The guy made his money from porn.

It’s probably just as well (I have issues with porn – but, since I know you’re all wondering – I have worked on a porn. Once. I’ll never do that again unless I get really, really broke), but I love roller coasters and was looking forward to having a fun time on them.

For this morning’s non-work related errand, I went back to the podiatrist (his office is in Santa Monica, and it took me over an hour to get there from Hollywood. Fucking traffic) to get yet another tweak on my orthotics (apparently my feet are being difficult), and he was telling me that no one’s working now – not even the people who do commercials (they’re almost always busy).

What kills me is that some folks seem to always be blindsided by the work drying up, even though it happens roughly at the same time a few times a year.

In the waiting room, a production co-ordinator was complaining to someone on the other end of her cell phone that she couldn’t find a job and didn’t know what the hell happened. The lady sitting next to her waited until she’d hung up, turned to her and said “It’s summer, honey. Happens every year.”

Filed under: Non-Work

9 Responses

  1. Justin says:

    I want to hear the story of the time you worked a porn gig. Please?

  2. Peggy Archer says:

    I think the lit agent wants to hold that one for the book, so I’ll give you the short version: it stank and the girls were dumb as hell.

    On a lighter note: if the book deal goes south, then I’ll post the full porn story!
    Either way, everyone wins!

  3. Its not porn so much as its “Girls with Low Self Esteem”….
    Can I get a Hell Yeah! for Arrested Development?

  4. Marste says:

    Aw, don’t be too hard on people who never remember that the work dries up. Somebody had to pull the stupid card in life – just be glad it’s not you! LOL

  5. Mark says:

    Well can you at least tell us whether it was old-fashioned regular porn? Or was it just sleazy network TV??

    CBS’s $3.6mil FCC violation – teen orgy from “Without a Trace”)

  6. Anonymous says:

    I hope that Joe Francis has rented out the entire park for his party. It would be awkward – to say the least – for “regular” amusement park visitors to find themselves mixed in with people from the porn industry. Though I suppose it could be amusing at times …

    Iron Rails & Iron Weights

  7. “but I love roller coasters and was looking forward to having a fun time on them.”

    Yeah, but the chances of sitting next to something less than human would’ve been higher than usual.

  8. Anonymous says:

    the party didn’t have any porn people…… just a bunch of b – list celebs.

  9. BTL says:

    I’ve never worked on porn but I have been asked to record sound on soft core semi-porn. Which I also have issues with. I mean, I have issues with Victoria’s Secret commercials, but at least they pay and the food’s good. Plus, think about it: having to focus intensely on the sound of porn, soft or otherwise? Eew. Listening to actors faking sex is bad enough.

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