Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

I really want to, but I can’t.

A sure-fire way to be certain a best boy never calls you back again is to refuse to do something, even if there’s a really good reason.

Yesterday, I was asked to go up in the condor and I had to do exactly that – over the walkie, no less.

“Um.. I’ve got a.. health situation right now that’s going to prevent me from doing that”.

One of the guys standing next to me immediately started teasing me: “What.. you got yer peeeeriod?”

Why yes, actually. That was, in fact, why I couldn’t get in a condor,  raise the basket to eye level of upper floor apartment dwelling yokels and then sit there for 10 hours. Thanks for asking.

Of course, I couldn’t actually say that, so I made some crack about not being able to get off the shitter because I’d eaten his mamma’s cooking the night before, but this was ill-timed.

Hopefully, it won’t be held against me and this particular best boy will call me back again.

Oh, well. It was probably better for me to refuse to go up than to go up and then have to come back down a few hours later.

In the ‘damn, I’m glad I wasn’t on that show’ department, one of our drivers told me another show that’s shooting a few blocks away had almost a quarter of a million dollars in cable stolen.

Since the copper market (cable is, of course, copper with a rubber coating) has skyrocketed and the scrap metal buyers downtown don’t ask any questions, unguarded cable lying around pretty much has a ‘free money’ sign on it.

Bet that security guard’s salary isn’t looking so expensive now, huh?

Filed under: locations, Work, , , ,

10 Responses

  1. Charli says:

    I am feeling the woman power about now. Sigh.

  2. meg says:

    What do the boys do? Please don’t tell me they pee over the side of the condor. Ewwww. My husband was driving a condor yesterday. I’ll ask him.

  3. Will Campbell says:

    The last couple times I’ve biked up that stretch of 2nd Street between Beaudry and the Beverly Boulevard overpass there’s been nothing happening but a bunch of filmish looking equipment and cabling spread out over a couple blocks and overseen by several security guards. Now I know why.

  4. RJ says:

    I’ve been up in a condor for a brief stretches, but I always pitied those poor juicers who got sent up for entire days. I’ve seen guys climb down the arm just to pee.

  5. Marcotico says:

    Best condor story I ever heard was my friend who got sent up in the condor on an indy film in Kansas. The sun finished setting, and he got a call to crank on the nine light. *FLICK,FLICK,FLICK…* Before he could finish “every bug in the entire county”..whoosh..”flew in and covered me.”

    For the next eight hours he sat up there as still as possible. Every time he had to move to make an adjustment hundreds of moths, and flying beetles would rustle all over him. When he finally got the call to come down, he said he jumped out of the basket while the crane was still 15 feet off the ground and shook with heebie-jeebies for 5 minutes.

  6. jimsmuse says:

    I have been loving all the stories on your blog, because I always like to hear the “inside scoop”. This one had me laughing out loud. I hope you’ll come on over to My Cool Job and share with everyone! We would love to have you contribute!

  7. Some guys do indeed pee out of the bucket of a condor — I recall resorting to that method of relief once or twice back in the early days — but it’s not always possible in a very public location. Even when it is, simply letting fly into the dark can be problematic. I know one juicer who did just that late one night, only to find that one of the production-hired cops was down below.

    Peeing on cops: never a good idea…

    My condor days are done (I hope), but I’ve spent many a cold night up there at the end of the long arm, with only a BFL or two for company. (Civilian translation: Big Fucking Light) My own method for dealing with the problem of bladder-relief was to take a few water bottles up — first to drink the water as required, then to refill that screw-top bottle as Nature gently called. But those bottles are rather small, and in a swaying condor bucket, aim can be a problem — so the best solution I came up with was a quart-sized Gatoraid bottle. Can’t miss with one of those babies, which have the added benifit of a large enough capacity to make it through the night.

    This is all well and good for a guy, of course, but I hate to consider the plight of a female juicer marooned up in a condor. Female juicers are a smart, resourceful, and hardy lot — and they have my complete respect.

  8. dude says:

    I can solve the female problem of finding a place to pee
    shewee (google it)

    Peggy sez: Don’t have to google it. I use a pitcher (tupperware style with a lid) filled with an absorbent material such as newspaper or shredded diapers (to prevent sloshing in case of tip over). It works pretty well, and I’m able to use it without inadvertently mooning anyone.

  9. nezza says:

    Damn men! Don’t know they’re born sometimes. :o)

  10. Karen says:

    This is genius. I completely sympathize. I always feel ashamed when I say I have to go 10 1 and then head that way with my purse. Ugh.

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