This past week, I’ve been doing a few days on a no-budget indie movie. It hasn’t been bad – the director is the nicest guy in the world, and is really efficient so the days haven’t been very long.
The show’s shooting in an old TV studio that was abandoned and is now being rented to productions by some people who don’t have a reputation for being overly honest (and that’s saying something in LA), so when one of the production’s RED cameras went missing, the people who run the stage were, of course, the prime suspects (also because the theft happened late at night with no sign of forced entry).
Of course there’s no way for us to prove this, but every time I’ve had the misfortune to work at this particular excuse for a stage, something has gone missing – and the film crew rumor mill about stuff like this is usually fairly accurate.
I feel bad for the misfortune that’s happened to some very nice people, but what’s really been on my mind has been the dull ache that I’ve had in my left hip for a long time (and have ignored in the hopes that it would just go away on it’s own) which has suddenly progressed to stabbing pain in the hip – it hurts no matter if I’m sitting, standing, laying down, etc..
Today, I finally took the plunge and went to the doctor. He told me it’s nerve damage from years of wearing a toolbelt that sits on the hips (anything around my actual waist is uncomfortable for 14 hours at a stretch, in addition to making me look like a Volkswagen).
Me: “So I can say that I’ve literally busted my ass?”
Doctor: “No, more like you’ve dented your ass.”
Oh, that’s just great. A dented ass. Does that raise or lower my stock?
Luckily, I’m not working again until Friday so I’ve got a couple of days to let said dent heal. Today, I went out and got a new belt – buying stuff that’s marketed to the film industry is hideously expensive, so I went to a still camera store and got a really nice heavily padded toolbelt for about $30.
If the additional padding doesn’t help, I’m going to have to go the way of the farmer john toolbelt and suspenders (the toolbelt is loose and hangs from suspenders), which I hate. I’d rather have the stuff attached to me where at least I’ve got a chance of feeling it if someone tries to tag* me.
The larger question here, though is this:
Why run nerves where they’re going to interfere with such a convenient resting place? Any woman will tell you that hips are great for load distribution – toolbelts, squirming toddlers, grocery bags, stray bits of lumber, etc.. they all migrate to the hips because that’s the easiest place to carry the weight.
Who was it that was using the phrase intelligent design in relation to the human body? I call bullshit. This is the best example of stupid design I’ve seen recently.
Don’t even get me started about shins.
*sneaking up behind someone and affixing a clothespin to their person.