Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

The stupidest thing I’ve ever seen

Working in the film industry guarantees that one sees stupid shit on a damn near daily basis, so this phrase passes my lips fairly often, but whenever I say it, I know it’s a lie because I can remember with great clarity the absolute stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.
Some years ago, during a period of unemployment (much like this one), I was watching some fluff-addled morning television show while drinking coffee and contemplating what to do with my empty day.
One of the segments on said fluff-addled morning show was about people who had unusual pets, and one of the ladies featured had a 12 foot (4m) long boa constrictor. And an 18 month old (or so) baby.
When asked by the interviewer if she was worried about the snake trying to hurt the baby, she replied “No.. (snake’s name) loves the baby. She’d never ever try to hurt him.”
As she said this, the camera focused on the snake, which was coiling around the baby as Mom explained that the snake was just trying to give the baby a hug.

I’m certainly no snake expert, but I was under the distinct impression that when a snake that big coils around something the size of a baby, they’re not doing it out of affection.

I remember yelling something at the television before the segment changed, but whenever I catch myself saying something’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, I think about that baby and where he is now.

Hopefully, the internet will be back on Thursday, as promised, and I won’t have to do so much thinking anymore.

Filed under: Non-Work, , , ,

8 Responses

  1. k4kafka says:

    This snake story is some sort of a metaphor for the IATSE contract,..right ?

  2. ironrailsironweights says:

    Inspired by the now-deceased Travis, she could trade in the boa for a chimpanzee.


  3. Charli says:

    That is probably one of the DUMBEST things I’ve ever heard, I mean, did that lady, did her mommy drop her on her head when SHE was a baby? I read where a 15 year-old boy got suffocated by his pet boa. Jesus, this is a natural instinct for a snake, you can’t take nature out of animals.

    I think there should be a law that STUPID people should not be allowed to have babies, like we’d do some sort of i.q. test. I’m just saying…

  4. geekhiker says:

    What, people anthropomorphizing their pets? Nahhh…. ;)

  5. jesse says:

    That’s hilarious! Excuse me while I kiss my chimp.

  6. Holy crap. That’s nuts. I never have “that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen” moments any more. Then again, maybe I just don’t watch enough TV.

  7. M Rahman says:

    great post ! thanks

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