All through the surgery/rehab process, people have been warning me about hitting ‘the wall’.
Last week was my wall.
The physical therapy didn’t seem to be doing any good, the foot wasn’t improving, still hurt all the time and by the time I had done the exercises and gone about my day I could hardly stand up. Instead of coming home and sitting on the computer typing something or other, I sat in the comfy chair in the living room and cried. Every night.
The constant pain was also making me behave in a truly deplorable manner. Think temper tantrums for small things like the grocery store being out of something I wanted or someone not sneaking the LA left turn* quickly enough.
Did I write earlier that I didn’t understand how people get hooked on pain pills? Scratch that. I completely understand now. Adding to the general misery was the physical therapist deciding to do ‘desensitization’ on the scar, which involved rubbing stuff against the very tender part of the foot and felt just fucking great.
Luckily, I seem to have moved past said wall – although the toe’s stiffened up a bit, the rest of the foot’s not aching so badly anymore.
Everything is much better now, although I’m still not doing very much with my life other than working out and sleeping.
*Los Angeles, in a stroke of genius on the part of some smartass, for years didn’t have left turn signals at intersections. Anywhere. In order to make a left turn, one would have to coast out into the middle of the intersection while one had the light and then make the turn in that brief interval between when the light turns red and the traffic travelling in the other direction starts moving. I’ve never seen drivers in any other city do this – probably because other cities had the foresight to install left turn arrows at intersections.