Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

Double the shenanigans, half the price!

Like many older Southern California dwellings, my building has no insulation (it’s paradise, right? It never gets cold here so let’s save on construction costs), so the hollow walls combined with lath-and-plaster construction conduct vibration from the hardwood floors in the unit above mine really well.

Thanks to the former landlady and her batshit crazy, said unit has been vacant for years, so there’s not been a problem. Now, however, I have upstairs neighbors who are very, very nice but unbelievably noisy nearly around the clock. After some discussion, they agreed to remove the hard-soled shoes after about 10 pm, which brings the noise level down to merely unpleasant (as opposed to completely unbearable) things that go bump, bang and crash in the night.

The really cruel part of the joke here is that despite (or maybe because of) my ability to do things like nap standing up (lean against wall, lock knees, catch power nap while the producer’s not looking), I’m probably the world’s lightest sleeper, so it doesn’t take much to wake me even without the thundering hipsters over my head.

I suppose the upside of this is that no one will ever be able to draw anything embarrassing on my face and then take my picture while I sleep.

With the use of earplugs, I’ve been averaging 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night, but in the wee hours of Sunday morning the upstairs dwellers decided to have what sounded like elephant races – the noise was so loud and my entire place was shaking so much that I thought it was an earthquake, jumped out of bed, failed to don any sort of  footwear and ran to stand in the bedroom doorway.

Turns out it was four guys and three girls all clomping around in club shoes. Indoors.  At three in the morning.

Needless to say, the foot’s not feeling so terrific anymore.

I saw the physical therapist today, and he says it’s not that bad, which is a very, very happy thing to hear.  I’ve got three sessions a week scheduled for the next two weeks in an attempt to get the damn thing to hurry up and heal because my disability runs out at the end of August, which means I’m going back to work in the beginning of September whether I’m ready or not.

Filed under: Non-Work

6 Responses

  1. Craig says:

    I used to live in an apartment with poor soundproofing
    between floors. It was a nightmare. If you can get them
    to put carpet down you can put a sound barrier below the
    carpet. But I suspect they won’t want to give up their
    “nice hardwood floors”.

    You could research your rights under “Quiet enjoyment”
    but enforcing those rights might be impossible.

  2. k4kafka says:

    When I lived on the second floor of an old three story apartment building in Hollywood, my upstairs neighbors liked to play chase-the ball with the new puppy when they came home from work at 2 AM.

  3. geekhiker says:

    Ugh, as a fellow light sleeper, I feel your pain. Is there any use in talking to the landlord? Pretty much all rental contracts have a clause about being quiet. Of course, there’s sometimes blowback from that (especially if they’re people who think it’s “their right as ‘Mericans” to make as much noise as they please)…

  4. boskolives says:

    Your time will come, and most likely it will be the days when you have an O’Dark:30 am call time and sense a chance to rock the place whilst getting dressed.
    In a similar situation, I found that borrowing wall spreaders (great to have pals on the G&E crew) enabled me to mount a speaker flush on my ceiling/their floor. It took only one morning’s run through playing a DAT of my favorite version of “Ride of the Valkyries”, amp set to 11, base maxed out, to see that it will work as well on Anglos as it did on the Vietnamese in “Apocalypse Now”.
    I love the smell of revenge in the (very, very early) morning, and one performance of it did the job.

  5. Mike Bell says:

    I used to live downstairs from some wrestlers from our local university. They had the habit of “scrimmaging” at all hours of the day or night. They would also bring women home from the clubs and party late into the night.

    One night I came home from a pub crawl with some friends. The gang upstairs was going at it full steam. And then suddenly it was quiet and I was able to drift off to sleep.

    About 20 minutes later there was a knock on my door. I looked through the peep hole and saw a police officer standing back from the door with his hand on his gun. I slowly opened the door and asked “Can I help you?”

    The policeman gestured towards the ground. “Can you explain this?” he asked. I looked down and saw that my entryway was awash in blood that was dripping from above. I told him no, but the guys upstairs might be able to shine a little light on the subject.

    It turned out that the ruckus I heard when I came home was the wrestlers kicking some drunk chick out of their apartment. In a fit of anger she had rammed her hand through the window next to the front door and opened up a vein.

    The apartment manager kicked the wreslers out soon after.

  6. nezza says:

    I’m a light sleeper too – I think it gets worse the closer to morning though. I don’t have any noisy upstairs dwellers, but I do have a next door neighbour with a son who drives a car with a big noisy exhaust and if he comes home at 1, 2, 3am then I’m awake. He likes to sit it in with the engine running to which, to quote a phrase, “does my ruddy head in” after about 2 mins.

    You have my sympathies. I hope your new neighbours quieten down.

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