Yesterday there was a meeting between the motion picture insurance execs and the ‘craft locals’ – us, grips, art department, and painters.
This turned out to be a very long lecture to make us understand why the plan is probably going to have to cut costs by slashing our benefits or killing 20% of us at random.
According to Mr. Health Plan Executive, the reason expenses keep spiraling upwards at an alarming rate is because the ‘participants’ (that’s us) are lazy, chain-smoking, prescription drug abusing fatasses who drink too much. Also, we’re ugly, which for some reason is costing the health plan money. Or something.
Maybe cute people are cheaper to insure.
And I think there was one more in there, but by the time that came up I’d squeezed my apparently Jabba the Hut like bulk up out of my chair to get another cup of free coffee – got to keep that blood pressure up, you know.
By the time the browbeating and a sales pitch about how great Kaiser Permanente (the original HMO) is and why we should care ended, I’d had enough.
I decided I didn’t need to stay around for the lecture about how internet piracy is killing the film industry and gutting our insurance plan* which is already strained to the hilt by my personal unhealthiness, poor hygiene, and bad attitude.
All of this sitting was cutting into my gym time.
So I slipped out and headed to said gym, where I felt much better after a workout and a swim which sadly was cut short due to an unexpected water aerobics class.
I then acted upon my frustrations by going to a bar, eating a bacon cheeseburger with fries, drinking booze and sleeping with a producer. Oh, and I think there was some chocolate.
I feel so dirty.
* Below the line crew folks don’t get residuals paid out directly the way actors do. We get residuals paid into our insurance and pension fund. So stop downloading movies illegally unless you really want me to spend my golden years eating cat food to save money and talking to myself as I ride the bus.