Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.


A war has broken out at my gym.

Until recently, the gym played nice, soothing classical music in the ladies’ locker room (I have no idea what they play in the men’s locker room), which was nice.

For some reason, about a month ago they switched to jazz. Not the boring cardboard elevator stuff, but sax heavy jazzy jazz, which is also nice.

Who doesn’t like jazz, right?

Apparently, about half of the ladies at the gym. They hate the jazz with such a burning passion that they’ve gone on a rampage and are now attempting to have the saxophone de-certified as a legitimate musical instrument.

Now, battle lines are being drawn in the locker room.

An acquaintance was complaining about the jazz to me and I responded with “It’s not so bad – it’s Coltrane. It’s not like they’re playing gangster rap, right?”

The next time I saw her, I said hello, and she refused to speak to me. She then whispered to a friend of hers that I was one of ‘the jazz people’ and they both glared at me and stomped off.

A lady at the locker next to me leaned over and whispered “just ignore them. Those old Beethoven bags are all the same”.


According to the nice folks at the front desk, the complaints on both sides are running high, and love/hate is right about 50 percent. I suspect the staff are enjoying this, as it’s a nice break from the normal complaints about the pool being too cold/too hot, the towels being too scratchy and there being nothing good on TV.

Filed under: life in LA, Non-Work

2 Responses

  1. geekhiker says:

    Seriously? People are treating this with that much… gravitas? Geez.

    I’m never leaving my gym. NeverNeverNeverNeverNever

    Will you be able to maintain your neutral status? Be the gym’s resident Switzerland?

  2. k4kafka says:

    Perhaps the LA City Council can take this matter up at their next meeting…
    Sounds like something they might try to tackle.

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