I had a cat for a very, very long time. I got her when she was 6 weeks old and had her for 17 years. She was my best friend, and once-in-a-lifetime special.
Since she passed away, the house has seemed weird and empty, but every time I went to adoption events and looked at the kittens they didn’t measure up and it just hurt too damned much.
So now I’ve gone completely off the deep end and am getting a dog.
Actually, I’m technically just a foster home for the 10 lb terrier mix so I can figure out if this dog thing is for me or not.
I’m still not sure.
They do seem like an awful lot of fuss, and today, as I stood in the middle of Petco, I realized I have no idea what dogs like.
I know they like sniffing crotches and rolling in filth, but who doesn’t, really?
But toys? Once I get out of the squeaky mouse aisle I’m kind of lost.
Ditto chewy bones. Why the hell are there so many different kinds of fucking fake bones to chew? Are dogs really that picky?
Does the blue one taste like a different kind of ass than the red one?
And the clothes. For dogs.
Jesus tap-dancing Christ, people. We live in Southern California. The fucking dog has a fur coat. It does not in any way, shape, or form need a parka.
Or a novelty sombrero.
Okay, maybe the sombrero.
At the checkout, a fellow customer accused me of animal abuse because I mentioned I thought the dog would be fine without a wardrobe.
And I thought cat people were crazy.