Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

Happy New Year

As is normal for the first part of January, I’m unemployed. Even in busy years, January just doesn’t see that much action.

Although this normally worries me (even though it’s been happening for years), I guess it’s not a terrible thing as this week I seem to have picked up some unholy cough from hell. I’m talking bent double with spasms in my lungs, wheezing like an asthmatic pug.

It could be that it was 40 degrees last week and 80 degrees this week, or it could be the 8 percent humidity, or it could be the sudden lack of cat hair in my lungs.

Or, I could have caught the plague when I was flying across the country on the screaming baby express.

Who knows?

I’m sure I don’t have the flu, since I haven’t got body aches or a fever, but whatever it is has moved into my lungs and is picking out wallpaper. Or something.

I’m just glad it’s relatively warm here. According to my sister, the high at her place tomorrow is supposed to be 2 degrees (F).

I love you, California.

I do have one day of work this week, but I’ll be up in a condor so hopefully no one will hear me wheeze.

Filed under: cranky, life in LA, mishaps, Non-Work, , , , , , ,

Friday Photo

Mirror, mirror

A portable makeup table for on-set touch-ups.

Today, I had a lot of time to take photos, since most of our day was spent trying desperately to get footage of a happy baby.

Of course, the baby we were using spent most of the day screaming until her face took on a blue tinge.

She was fine when she wasn’t on set, but as soon as they tried to put her in front of the camera the high-pitched shrieks and tears started.

Some people just aren’t cut out for show business, I guess.

Filed under: mishaps, Photos, studio lots, Work, , , , , , , , , , , ,

The stupidest thing I’ve ever seen

Working in the film industry guarantees that one sees stupid shit on a damn near daily basis, so this phrase passes my lips fairly often, but whenever I say it, I know it’s a lie because I can remember with great clarity the absolute stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.
Some years ago, during a period of unemployment (much like this one), I was watching some fluff-addled morning television show while drinking coffee and contemplating what to do with my empty day.
One of the segments on said fluff-addled morning show was about people who had unusual pets, and one of the ladies featured had a 12 foot (4m) long boa constrictor. And an 18 month old (or so) baby.
When asked by the interviewer if she was worried about the snake trying to hurt the baby, she replied “No.. (snake’s name) loves the baby. She’d never ever try to hurt him.”
As she said this, the camera focused on the snake, which was coiling around the baby as Mom explained that the snake was just trying to give the baby a hug.

I’m certainly no snake expert, but I was under the distinct impression that when a snake that big coils around something the size of a baby, they’re not doing it out of affection.

I remember yelling something at the television before the segment changed, but whenever I catch myself saying something’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, I think about that baby and where he is now.

Hopefully, the internet will be back on Thursday, as promised, and I won’t have to do so much thinking anymore.

Filed under: Non-Work, , , ,

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