Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

Offensensitivity

Wherever bored dudes congregate, eventually all sorts of graffiti will appear. Mostly names and dates, but also the occasional drawing of a penis, boobs, or political endorsement.

But a few years ago a female co-worker and I found the granddaddy of all obscene scrawls. Naked women in the dirty magazine pose (on the knees with naughty bits facing the audience) with graphically detailed genitals.

If you’re female in this business you have to be able to ignore quite a bit that would, in any other industry, result in a successful lawsuit, but this was a bit much, even though we both admired the artistic talent and attention to detail.

This was a man who could definitely have found the clitoris.

My co-worker decided she didn’t want to spend the next few months looking at these, and used her own considerable artistic talent to make them not so….female.  And very well endowed.

We’re down for a week on the sitcom (actress is “sick”), so I took a day rigging at the very stage where the naughty drawings had been. Of course, the first thing I did upon going into the perms was have a look.

Someone had blacked out the altered naughty bits and added a bit of choice narrative alongside about “art”.

I’m not sure which one I found better – the fact that someone had taken the time to black out dick drawings, which are on just about every surface in the perms (I usually don’t photograph them, but they’re there, trust me), or the dogged effort to compose a few paragraphs about artistic freedom in the medium of marker and wooden beam.

Kudos to you, anonymous freedom guy.

And yes, I feel safe in assuming it was a guy.

In other non-genital related news, it’s finally cooling off here in Los Angeles. Today felt not at all like the surface of the sun, which was nice.

After our down week, I go back to sitcom world for another week or two and then I’m back to hustling any best boy I can find for work.

I will, however, have gotten my required 400 hours to keep my benefits through the end of 2014, for which I am extremely grateful.

Also, I have no idea what’s going on with those super annoying text link ads that you’re seeing. I’m trying to figure out how to turn them off.

Filed under: studio lots, Work, , , , , , , , ,

Some interim reading for you

Since I’m currently unemployed and the blog has been very, very boring, I thought that I’d recommend some light reading written by a friend of mine which I just know will make up for my general suckiness (no pun intended).

Carly Milne , who has link over there to the right, has written a book about her time working in porn. Carly was a publicist (which I didn’t even know pornos needed) and has some hilarious stories to  tell. She’s fabulous, and we all need to work together so she can finally buy that 24 carat pool boy she’s always wanted.

Here’s the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DCJZ4MU

My one foray into lighting for a porn was, well, interesting. It was well before I got into the union and couldn’t afford to be picky about jobs (“Porn set on an un-airconditioned stage in the Valley for not much more than gas money? Sure!”).

To be fair, I currently can’t be all that picky about jobs, but it’s totally not the same thing. At all.

I’m sure the plot (what there was of it) was the same as in any other porn and honestly all I remember was the broiling hot stage and one of the women telling us that one of her implants was leaking silicone into her body, but she couldn’t get them removed because then she wouldn’t work.

Also, in retrospect, the craft service table was unacceptably carb-laden.

You can buy the book for the low, low price of $2.99, or, if you’re an Amazon Prime member, you can borrow it for free.

Either way, I guarantee you won’t be disappointed!

Filed under: Non-Work, Off-Topic, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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