Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

Why I can’t type right now.


Most awesome screwgun accident, ever.

Hopefully, the giant mummy-wrapped thumb will be better in a few days.

Filed under: hazardous, mishaps, Photos, Work, , , ,

Home again, at last.

Long ago, at a party, a friend who had spent her entire adult life in a wheelchair said to me “When you’re handicapped, everything is a procedure.”  At the time, I nodded sagely and sipped my drink while I tried to look like I had a fucking clue what she was talking about.  After the last 24 hours, I completely – truly – understand.

I’m still working on the procedure, but since I’ve only been up and about for the past day, it’s all fairly new.  At my wonderful saintly friends’ house, the only time I had to get up was to go to the toilet – everything was brought to me and I even had help taking a bath. Now, I’m on my own and were there webcams in my house, my antics would be comedy classics.

See me try to carry a cup of coffee (yes, I know it was stupid) while on crutches and spill it all over the cat!

See me trip over a throw rug!

See me try to coax hissing coffee-soaked cat down from the top of the bookshelf!

See me try to retrieve errant crutches after they fall just out of reach!

See me try to wash the dishes and keep my foot propped up at the same time!

Best of all – see me try to bend over and pick something up off of the floor!


I’m sure it’ll get better – I just missed out on the crutch practice days that I would have had without the complications.

Because nothing ever seems to go all that smoothly for me, I picked up a staph infection at the hospital. Not at the incision site – on the top of the foot. I was fine at first, but as soon as the hospital’s anesthesia wore off, the foot began feel like it was on fire.  Since I have actually set fire to myself (on more than one occasion), this is a feeling that I know well and quite frankly don’t care for all that much.

The medication wasn’t helping the pain at all, so  the doctor was called and he told me to take more of the medication, which made me vomit. Repeatedly.  I have now officially poisoned myself with vicodin. Sweet. Remind me not to do it again. I don’t know how people get addicted to that stuff.

I got a better pain drug and was much happier once I managed to get my face out of the trash can.

Although I didn’t have internet, I had cable TV (I’m going to miss that), the best dog ever to keep me company and wonderful people who kept me fed and updated my blog for me. I owe all of them something spectacular now.

When I went to the doctor for a check up, he just scratched his head and said that he couldn’t figure out how I’d gotten the infection – then wrote me a prescription for antibiotics and said that if there was no improvement in five days that he was going to have to re-admit me to the staph factory hospital.

The good news is that the infection’s definitely clearing up – I still can’t put any weight on the foot, but it’s stopped hurting so much when it’s not elevated, which was the one obstacle to my going home.

So now I’m back home and I have the internet again. Of course, the first thing I did was go online and order some padding for the crutches because my armpits look like hamburger.

I’m going back to the doctor in the morning. I don’t suppose he’s going to let me drive yet, so I’m planning on being stuck in the house for another week.

Which isn’t a bad thing – I have a lot of stuff I have to get done if and when I can manage to balance.

Filed under: humor, mishaps, Non-Work, , , , , , , , ,

Of all the days for me to pack light.

Generally, what I take to work is about the same no matter what I’m doing – items get added and subtracted depending on circumstances (rain gear, for instance, isn’t necessary in the summer months). In an effort to pack light, if I’m certain I’m not going to need something I won’t bring it.

Yesterday, I thought I was going to be the board operator, so I left certain items at home – like my toolbelt. Really, I don’t need the toolbelt if I’m going to be sitting in a chair pushing buttons all day, so it’s just added weight in the bag that my back will thank me to leave at home. Ditto the stiff work shoes that give me ankle support when I’m carrying something heavy – if I’m sitting in a chair all day, I can get away with wearing soft sneakers that are much more comfortable.

So when I got to work yesterday, I was surprised (and a little dismayed given what I’d left at home) to find the regular board operator siting there – first unit were out on location, so he’d stayed behind. Since he’s been running the board on this show since it started, he’s really the best choice for the job under any circumstance (I’m just the redheaded stepchild here), so I just inwardly groaned at now being woefully unprepared to do my job.

Luckily, I was able to borrow some gloves (the one thing I absolutely cannot do without), and then if I needed a tool throughout the day I just had to find one of my co-workers and beg.


Lucky (or unlucky) for me everyone just thought this was funny.

The other serious miscalculation I made involved the gym. Last week, I got clearance from the doctor to go back to the gym (I have to wear the knee brace at work, and am still forbidden from running, but it’s a start), so on Sunday I worked out like crazy, thinking I’d be sitting in a chair most of the day yesterday.


Of course, this particular set is two levels, and three guesses who kept having to go upstairs and up the ladders? Actually, going up wasn’t bad – it was coming down that really hurt.

It’s probably better that I didn’t sit all day, because this morning I’m not nearly as stiff as I would have been – so I guess I can’t really complain. I’m also a lot less tense right now.

At wrap, one of our actors commented: “You seem much happier today than usual”

I don’t know if I was happier or just distracted because of the pain. Probably a little bit of both.
When I don’t work out, I get cranky. I guess the gym is where I vent my pent-up modern city dwelling aggression, so I’m much calmer when I’m working out (I guess this makes me an addict) – On the drive home, I didn’t yell insults at the other motorists nearly as much as I usually do. I just sat in the car, happily listening to the new CD I bought, and then when I got home, I soaked in a tub full of Epsom salts before I went to bed.

I’m still a little sore this morning, but since I know that I’m going to be running around, I can pack accordingly (laptop? no. Work shoes? Yes. Arnica cream for sore legs? Oh hell, yes)

I might even bring my gym bag and try to hit the gym after work (depending on what time we wrap and how much turnaround we have).

Filed under: mishaps, Work, , , , , , , ,

April 2023

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"If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." -Anne Lamott

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