Totally Unauthorized

A side of the film industry most people never see.

Well, that didn’t work out

Did I mention I was adopting a dog?

What I really meant was renting.

I’d been warned  that some of the rescues are… optimistic about the dog’s temperament, and this (nameless) rescue did just that.

It all started out so well. The foster person brought the dog over and we sat and chatted while the dog explored. The dog seemed friendly – tail wagging and everything. While said dog was wandering around my apartment sniffing everything, the foster person said she was going to sneak out since everything seemed to be going well.

And everything did, until the dog realized that she was in a strange place with a strange person.  She was sitting next to me chewing on some bit of animal carcass, and then she jumped away and bit me.

Not snapped. Bit. Hard.

Lucky for me I pulled my hand away and only got grazed, but the dog started growling, snapping and baring her teeth.

Look, I get being scared with a new person, but I didn’t sign up to adopt a miniature hell-hound.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t enjoy being bitten. Or potentially sued.

“Oh, what a cute little.. OUCH!!!! I’m calling my lawyer!”

I’ve had enough experience with trying to get cats into carriers that I know the oven mitt trick – you sneak up behind the animal (WAY easier with dogs, BTW), grab them with the oven mitts and then deposit. In this case, a roomy crate that the dog was happy to enter.

I draped towels over the crate to make her feel more secure, and then decided to sleep on it instead of calling the foster person and telling her to turn around and come get the fucking dog.

In the morning, I lifted up the towel to check the dog’s food and water and she bared her teeth and snapped.

That was it.

I called the rescue and told them to come and remove the beast.

They sent the same foster person back to get the dog, and upon arrival, she blamed me for getting bitten. Apparently, it was all my fault because I put the dog in the crate.

When I mentioned that the dog bit me before I put her in the crate, she just turned her back and told me that they were going to have to board the dog at a vet where they’d keep the dog in a very small cage and force her to listen to Justin Bieber. Or something.  At that point, I just wanted the dog and the crazy lady out of my place.

Oh, and don’t even ask how I found out the dog wasn’t potty trained.

Cat people have a reputation as being crazy, but I have to say my experience with a dog rescue makes me think that dog people take the crazy cake. And the candles.

Since it’s Friday, here’s a photo of a calm blue ocean:


Filed under: Non-Work, , , , ,

9 Responses

  1. Annika says:

    Rescues are the best thing, but they’re also cray cray bananapants because they’re often the only thing keeping an animal alive. :-\

    • Peggy Archer says:

      But how much good are they doing if potential adoptive homes are put off by the crazy and the misrepresentation? I love the idea of rescuing an animal, but now I’m put off.

      • Annika says:

        Oh, they are totally shooting themselves in the foot. It’s really too bad. If you want to try again, the Bill Foundation is supposed to be lovely. Unless that’s the one you worked with, in which case never mind!

  2. chucksnuc says:

    I have only adopted puppies. Sorry, but I want my dog to be mine. As you have just seen, there are a lot of ways for a puppy to be poorly formed/reared. Then it becomes a defective dog. Then it will be passed around and eventually euthanized. All the while spreading bad impressions of dog-dom.
    Get a two-month old mutt that wants you to scratch its belly and put your finger in its mouth. You will teach it manners, and all the other rules of life. And it will love you dearly.

  3. JD says:

    Fostered over 30 dogs all young adults (3+), plus adopted for life 3 others. You can never know the complete history of an animal. The dog displayed food possessiveness because it was uncertain of your intentions. I blame you as well. Stick to cats.

    • Hardly Peggy’s fault that she was not informed as to the dog’s issues and told how to handle them… That bad lay squarely on the shoulders of the rescue which should be preparing potential owners with full disclosure and support to help the animal.

  4. Life-long cat person, now a dog convert. Didn’t even LIKE dogs very much, certainly didn’t WANT one…. Went to pick up burgers for the family and there was this little mutt running up to everybody… Asked an employee if she knew if he was local and was told he showed up the day before and had been there ever since, begging for food. This place is located on a very busy street, my conscience got me and when I left I picked up the little guy and brought him home – went for a burger, came back with a dog… story of my life. My intent was to take him to a no kill shelter the next morning, but by then it was too late, he was mine. More work? Yes. More expense? Yes. More difficult to potty train? Yes…. but in return, Fred gives us 10 times the love of any of the cats we’ve ever owned… He’s my constant companion and saw me through my best friend and my Father’s deaths one month apart. By all means, consider a dog, but don’t let anyone bring you one… You’ll know who’s for you when you meet them.

  5. SantaMonicaMark says:

    Terrier Mix (aka Terrorist Mix) should always be a warning sign. My daughter adopted one. Originally named Buddy… now more commonly referred to as Budzilla. Falls asleep at your feet, but if you move a bit, he startles awake snarling and biting. Then he feels bad about it and starts licking the foot he just bit. (So not a sociopath… could never be an agent or a producer.)

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